Words By: Margaret Galang, Founder and Head Trainer of YMF
I’ve noticed that it seems to be more the norm for us women to talk badly about ourselves and less common for us to acknowledge just how good we are. I see so many amazing transformations among the mums that we train – whether it be a big or small transformation, and when I go to give someone a compliment, I’m almost always greeted back with a negative response about themselves. Why do we find it so hard to accept praise for the good things about ourselves and find it so easy (and almost auto-pilot like) to put ourselves down?
What does constant negative self-talk do for us? I read a great book many years ago by Dawn Breslin called The Power Book, and she says we all have an internal dialogue that plays in our minds – a bit like a voice recorder that plays over and over again, and if what that voice is saying is always negative and critical of ourselves, we aren’t going to feel very good and will eventually knock down our self-esteem. Having self-esteem means feeling good about ourselves, it means we feel worthy of happiness, health, love, and success. When our self-esteem isn’t intact, we feel vulnerable and easily let life’s challenges knock us down. If we put ourselves down regularly, this can impact on our lives and result in a lot of pain and mental anguish. But, she says the good news is, we are in control of our thoughts and how we feel, and so we can always change our internal dialogue. In her book, she shares many exercises and activities to boost your self-esteem. Here are some of my faves below. Do something good for yourself and find 5 minutes in your day to do one of these activities…
ACTIVITY 1: MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL
- Look in the mirror for 3 minutes and list all the feelings that come up as you look.
- Write down everything that you think and feel, both positive and negative.
- If you struggle to find positive things to say about yourself, make an effort to list at least 1 positive quality and write it down (perhaps even if it is something that someone else has said about you).
Do this exercise for 21 days at least, listing only the positive things that you see and feel. If you can’t do it at the beginning, persevere for 21 days and observe how differently you begin to feel. Really work hard at this one – it can be tough.
ACTIVITY 2: HOW IMPORTANT IS YOUR LIFE?
- Make a list of all the things that you do for YOU and only you to make yourself happy on a weekly basis.
- Make a list of all the things that your partner does for himself on a weekly basis.
- Make a list of all the things that your child/children do for themselves or that you organise.
Now list 3 things that you would love to do on a weekly basis, wild or simple, and consider how you could fit them in to your life. Plan to make at least 1 happen this week – beware of reminding yourself that you can’t because of time. Build this in now!
ACTIVITY 3: REMIND YOURSELF OF HOW SPECIAL YOU ACTUALLY ARE – IT’S SO EASY TO FORGET
Now dig deep and think back. List the compliments that you have had for each of the following. These can go as far back as 20 years.
Now take this list and stick it on your mirror or in your diary and read it each day until you begin to remember the essence of who you are!
ACTIVITY 4: BEING GRATEFUL FILLS US UP WITH WARM FEELINGS AND REFOCUSES A TIRED MIND
Make a list of 10 reasons why you are grateful to be alive today. Do this exercise for 21 days until you begin to gently and positively reframe your thinking. List the little things to begin with, such as your health, your ability to pay the bills, your cute pets, and your children etc. Try to write a bit of detail in your descriptions to really make them come alive.
ACTIVITY 5: A BIT OF SPARKLE DUST TO SPRINKLE ON YOUR LIFE
Make a list of 5 simple things that you would like to do for yourself that would make you feel so much better on a weekly basis.
Do something good for yourself because you deserve it – join us and be on your way to a healthier, happier, and more positive you! Get started with a one week free trial. Click here to get started.
Source: Dawn Breslin’s Power Book: 7 Steps To A Life Makeover