Surviving Single Mum Life
Words By: Margaret Galang, YMF Founder
I was once a single mum, and it wasn’t easy. So I just want to start off with a shout out – a shout out to all the single mums out there doing it tough. It takes strength, courage, and a strong will to get through single mum life. But one thing I know to be true about us mums, is that we can make it through anything, hell, we made it through child birth so we literally can make it through anything no matter how hard it is.
When I first became a single mum, it was a big sigh of relief, like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was glad to have come out of my very broken relationship but as a result, I came out of it as fragments of my former self and I had to piece myself back together. Trying to do this whilst being a mum was certainly a challenge. But somehow I have made it through, and I’m now able to look back at my time as a single mum and share a few things that helped me to survive…
Don’t let mother’s guilt consume you.
I know this is easier said than done. It has taken me a very long time to let go of my mother’s guilt that surrounded the whole broken family/single mum situation. I blamed myself and beat myself up for putting my children through this. But at the end of the day, I had to keep reminding myself that I did this for them. We only ever do things out of love for our children and you just need to keep reminding yourself of that.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
I felt like I had to be able to do and be everything for my children. But reality is, you can’t! If you have friends and family offering you help, in any way, take it! If you don’t have any offers for help, that doesn’t mean that people aren’t willing. You just have to be brave enough to ask.
Give yourself some attention too.
We will always make sure our children are looked after first and have everything they need, so once you have got the children sorted, allow yourself some time for you. To work on healing yourself and finding your happiness again. Whatever that may be. You may not think that you aren’t important, but now more than ever, you are. Being the absolute best version of yourself makes you a better person, a better mum, a better friend etc. It benefits you and everyone else around you.
Remind yourself every day that you are a good mum.
No matter how hard or how bad things get, you must always remind yourself that you are a good mum. Children only have very basic needs that they need met, and as long as you have met those needs, then you are a good mum! You don’t have to provide them with everything to be considered a good mum. And just remember, through the eyes of your children, you will always be the best mum ever, even if you don’t think you are.